


Knock Knock

by traveler_of_heart



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drunk Snow, F/F, First Dates, Girls Night Out, Idiots in Love, Matchmaker Snow, Swan Queen - Freeform, and also, brief mention of beards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 12:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21410365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traveler_of_heart/pseuds/traveler_of_heart
Summary: Emma has been meaning to ask Regina out on a date for weeks. Snow is getting tired of no one making a move, so she takes matters into her own hands.I suck at summaries, but I promise this is fun!
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 17
Kudos: 205





	Knock Knock

**Author's Note:**

  * For [butmaybeweare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butmaybeweare/gifts).

> For Ines

Stupid, cheap, useless clock. Emma cursed it once again, rummaging through her closet, trying to find her badge and some clean clothes.

“Sweetie, are you coming down for breakfast?” Snow appeared without announcing herself as always, pushing the door open. The blonde didn’t even have time to remind her mother to at least knock. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, why do you ask,” Emma said, working the buttons of her shirt.

“You don’t look it”

“Jeez, thanks” she kneeled to look under the bed for her boots. The amount of dust that greeted her served as a reminder that she really needed to clean the room.

“You know what I mean”

“I’m just late, which means Henry could be late to school and if that happens, Regina will kill me and that would really ruin my morning”

“Well of course, it’s Scone Day at Granny’s” Snow said, finding Emma’s boots next to her drawer and handing them to the blonde.

“Precisely”

Snow took a seat on the edge of the bed, hands placed on her lap. She watched her daughter fumble with a pair of socks before blurting out “Is this about asking her out?”

“What?” Emma grabbed a pair of underwear instead of socks, feigning ignorance.

“Emma. I heard you practising in the shower”

“I really need to get my own place” she mumbled, one leg going first. Snow had to pinch the bridge of her nose when she realised her daughter was actually putting on a pair of panties over her jeans. 

_ One mess at a time. _

“I wouldn’t use the  _ knock knock _ one”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re asking Regina, not Boo Boo the clown”

“Fool” Emma corrected, looking at herself in the mirror and running her hands through her hair to placate the bird nest situation she had going on.

“What?”

“It’s Boo Boo the fool, not clown.”

“Emma! Just ask her. It’s obvious she likes you”

“You don’t know that. Plus, I don’t want to be her rebound, not after that forest hobo”

“You wouldn’t be her rebound. Whale was”

“WHAT”

“I’m joking. Plus, you had Hook. So that rebound excuse is just crap”

“Please, stop”

“Then stop being a chicken”

“Mom!”

“Mom!”

Henry yelled at the same time as Emma, startling both women.

“Henry!”

“We’re late”

“I know”, Emma snatched her keys and threw them at her son.

“Mom’s gonna kill you”

“Well, then, we’ll just have to keep our mouth shut, won’t we? Go get your stuff inside the car, we’re going.”

Henry rolled his eyes, looking a lot like Regina and then narrowed his eyes to the blonde.

“Nice look, Captain Underpants”

Snow snorted, covering her mouth with her hand and Emma finally looked down. Henry left the room with a little smirk, shouting “Hurry!”

“Were you planning on telling me before I left home?”

“Maybe” the brunette pushed her out of the room, Emma tumbling while pulling the extra underwear down. “Now go. We’ll continue this conversation later”

“Never mind, I’m sleeping under a bridge tonight, don’t wait up” she yelled, going down two steps at a time.

“No you’re not, we’re having pizza tonight”

“Pizza, then bridge!”

“Bye!”

  
*  
  


_ It’s obvious she likes you.  _

Emma wanted the words to be true. But this was Snow White, the woman that spoke to animals and used corny phrases every time she saw her husband. 

The truth of the matter was, things were more complicated than her mother would ever admit. And a simple mistake could lead to catastrophic results.

Ok, maybe things wouldn’t be that bad, but she was definitely not as optimistic as Snow. 

She barely had enough presence of mind to notice Henry getting inside the bug, waving goodbye to some of his classmates.

“Are we stopping at Granny’s?” 

“No, your Mom said she’d be home early today” Emma answered and began the drive to Mifflin street.

“We had an interesting day today” Henry said, sensing something was off.

“Good. Interesting is always good”

“Yeah, we learned about some cool stuff”

“Mmm”

“Chimeras. And we contacted some evil spirits as well”

“How nice”

“Yeah, I’m excited about the assignment we got, I think I’m gonna try to interview the ghost of George Lucas”

“George Lucas is not dead”

“ _ That _ you listen? You’re being weird” Henry grumbled, crossing his arms. He looked defeated when his blonde mother smirked at him.

“And you’re being a little brat. I heard everything you said, ok? I’m just having a rough day and I can’t focus on anything” she turned around once they parked and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, kid”

“It’s ok. Maybe you can stay for dinner. Mom’s cooking always makes you feel better”

“Yeah. Maybe”

Except the thought of being anywhere near Regina made her palms sweat and her throat close. She couldn’t fool the other woman and she really didn’t want to tell her what was going through her mind either.

They both exited the car and walked down to the Mayor’s manor. Regina opened the door before they reached the steps to the porch.

“There you are”

“Hey, Mom” Henry ran towards the brunette and hugged her. “Emma’s not feeling well”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that”

“Maybe some of your amazing lasagna could help her”

“No!” Emma shouted, startling both Mills. “I mean, no. Thanks, all good. Just have a lot to take care of. Nothing wrong with me”

“She’s being weird” Henry said, shrugging his shoulders again and then running to his room. “Bye, Ma”

“B-bye” she said, swaying in the entrance. Her knees almost gave in when Regina turned to her, an intense and inquisitive look in her chocolate eyes.

“You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, don’t I look it?”

“That’s not what I meant. You’re just more incoherent than usual, Miss Swan”

“Har, har” she rolled her eyes and finally stood straight. Time to go. “I’ll see ya later, I guess”

“Sure. See you tonight”

Emma nodded and tried to smile, cringing internally when she realised it looked more like a grimace. She had gone down the steps when Regina’s words caught up with her very slow, gay and terrified brain.

“Wait, what do you mean tonight?”

“Didn’t your mother tell you? She wants us to have a  _ girls night out. _ ”

“What?”

“Her words, not mine. She said you were coming… I thought you already knew”

“Uhm… I didn’t. Know. I didn’t know. But I am coming”

“See you later, then”

“Yeah”

Emma practically sprinted to her car, feeling a black cloud above her head. She really hoped David wouldn’t mind raising Neal alone, because she was gonna kill Snow.

  
*

“Mom!” Emma practically kicked the door down. Snow was folding laundry and smiled as she saw her daughter walk in.

“Hey honey, how was your day?”

“No, don’t honey me. Sense the tone”

“The tone of  _ what _ . I’m not following, Emma”

“The tone of  _ I can’t believe my mother betrayed me.  _ I told you to drop it and instead you ask Regina on a girl’s night out. That is so not a coincidence. And when did you have time to do it, I thought you took care of Neal all day”

“Well, unlike your father, I can multitask. Listen, I just thought it would be a good opportunity to ask her out, that’s all” she shrugged her shoulders, carrying the basket of laundry to the living room.

“Explain how on Earth I could bring up that subject on a girls night out”

“With games. Like  _ Never have I ever _ !”

“Of course, saying  _ Never have I ever fallen in love with the other mother of my son  _ is a completely normal thing to say in one of those games”

“Truth or dare”

“No! I don’t wanna do it like that. I don’t wanna do it like it’s some sort of game”

“Emma, come on. You were planning on asking her out with a joke” Snow placed her hand over her daughter’s. “Listen, let’s just go out. See what happens. Relax”

“Fine” the blonde rolled her eyes and went up to her room, stomping loudly. “But I’m getting drunk”

“Cheers to that” Snow mumbled, putting the last of the clothes away.

  
*  
  


Snow White, the Evil Queen and the Savior walked into a bar… it sounded like a joke.

_ My whole life is a joke _ , Emma thought as the three women made their way to the bar, where Ruby was pouring drinks and talking to patrons.

“Hey, what you doing here?” Emma greeted when they finally reached the bar, sitting on the wooden stools.

“I like to work here some days of the week. Mix it up a little, you know. Life is more than serving burgers” Ruby said, pulling out white wine for Regina, a beer for Emma and a gin and tonic (more tonic and barely some gin) for Snow. She knew them too well.

“Not Emma, her life is basically eating burgers” Regina said, taking a sip of her wine.

“Hey! I eat sandwiches too”

“Don’t take it personal, dear. However, you are more than welcome to have dinner at home. You know, to mix it up a little as Ruby said and eat a proper meal”

Ruby’s eyebrows practically disappeared into her hairline when she heard the invitation. Snow was right, Emma was an idiot. And Regina was too damn proud to take the first step. The blonde must have read her mind, since she gave her a pointed stare, while Snow and Regina argued about what constituted a “proper meal”

“No, Snow, I do not think Charming’s mac and cheese is healthy food”

“But he puts some lettuce on the side”

“How on Earth have you two survived all this time”

“Alright, alright… let’s do some shots!” Ruby interrupted, pushing three small glasses and raising the fourth one. “To… taking new chances!”

Emma didn’t have time to be mad about the toast, the white liquid burning down her throat as it slid down.

“What is this?” 

“It’s mezcal!” Ruby said, pouring herself some more.

“It’s poison” Regina pushed the glass away with a grimace.

“It’s Mexican!”

“Fine, it’s Mexican poison. Jesus, Ruby, we want to have a quiet night, not pull a Wolf of Wall Street” 

“Great movie. And great parties”

“Ok, I need to pee” Snow said, still coughing as she hopped off her seat.

“Looks like she might need some help!” Ruby disappeared, following her friend and leaving the two women at the bar.

“With peeing?”

_ Subtle _ .

“So…” the blonde said, unsure of what to say.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Regina asked, looking genuinely concerned. It made Emma melt a little. 

“Yeah. I just… have a lot on my mind. Like, I need to find my own place, you know. The Charmings are a lot sometimes.”

Regina nodded. Her next words came out slowly, never looking up from where her hands were resting.

“You know, if you ever need a place to stay… even for one night, there’s a guest room”

“Thanks” Emma smiled. 

Regina looked up.

God damn it, she was so damn beautiful. Emma knew this, she had practically memorized every one of her features and yet… every time she saw her, it felt like the first time.

She was staring and she was aware. Regina was too, judging by the sudden blush that tinted her cheeks.

“What, do I have something on my face?”

Before Emma could even speak, Snow returned, sitting next to Regina.

“That mezcal sure is a lot to handle. What did I miss?”

“Oh, we were just talking about Henry’s play”

“Yeah, he’ll make a wonderful tree” Snow said and then, with the same casual tone, she turned around and asked the burnette, “So, Regina, are you seeing anyone?”

Emma choked on her beer.

“Shut up” she muttered when Ruby let out a cackle.

“Subtle and delicate as usual, Snow. And no, I am not. I don’t believe a formerly Evil Queen is on the top ten list of bachelorettes”

“Oh, we could have one of those reality shows with you. And instead of roses you could give the contestants apples” Ruby said, pouring more wine for the woman.

“That’s enough, Miss Lucas”

“With the wine or the suggestions?”

“The suggestions. Keep the wine coming”

“Oh, come on. Regina, you do not need a reality show to get someone. You are smart, and a great mother and very beautiful. Don’t you agree, Emma?” Snow said, lifting her glass to her lips to hide her face from her daughter.

“Uh… yes… I mean your nose. It’s the right size. And your eyes are very… well placed”

“Well placed?” Regina repeated, tilting her head to the side.

“Symmetrical”

“Well, let’s hope my well placed, symmetrical eyes get me a good catch. Perhaps and ophthalmologist, Miss Swan?”

“I’d only date a plastic surgeon to get a free boob job” Ruby said after drowning another shot.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be serving alcohol, not drinking it” Emma pointed out.

“I can do both”

“David’s calling” Snow announced, hopping off the bar stool again, this time less gracefully. “Be right back”

“Yikes, she never really drinks, does she?” Ruby said as she saw the woman walking away, tumbling.

“No, which is why it’s even more surprising she suggested this thing in the first place” Regina commented, sipping her wine.

“Mmm. Yeah, who knows what got into her…”

“Well, the night is young. Maybe there are still some surprises left” Ruby wiggled her eyebrows and Emma considered throwing a peanut to her face. 

“I gotta go” Snow crashed against them, picking up her purse. “Neal is sick”

“Is he ok?” Emma stood up. She could tell by the look on her mother’s face she wasn’t lying about this. “I’ll drive you, come on”

“Sweetheart, it’s ok. It’s just a small fever, he’ll be fine. But you know your father, he gets crazy”

“Well, let me drive you”

“No, it’s a few blocks away. Stay. Enjoy the night”

“Call if you need anything” Regina offered. Emma was slightly surprised she hadn’t used this incident as an excuse to call it a night.

“And text when you get home. Please”

“I will. Bye”

Emma and Regina waved. Ruby brought Emma another beer and then turned around to talk to Nicholas Tilman. Both women sat in silence for a few minutes.

“So…”

“Would you like to...”

“Sorry”

“Go ahead”

They both laughed. Emma bit her lip, forcing the words out. It was incredibly distracting to watch Regina blush, putting a lock of brown hair behind her ear, almost shyly. 

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to play pool” Emma suggested with a lopsided smile.

“Oh. Well, I’ve never played before”

“It’s super easy, I promise” she touched the brunette’s elbow to encourage her to follow, feeling as if her hand had caught fire.

She could feel Regina walking close behind her.

“So, no pool in the Enchanted Forest?” the blonde said as she used the triangle to rack up the balls.

“No. Though we did have  _ Chase the peasant _ . You know, make one of them run around the woods and see which dog would catch him first”

“Uh…” Emma’s eyes widened as she picked up two cue sticks and handed one to Regina.

“It’s a  _ joke _ , Emma”

“Oh” the blonde laughed with relief. “Very funny, Your Highness. Ok, so we have the balls all set up. The first thing you need to do is break with the cue ball…”

“The white one”

“Correct. Now place your index finger on the top of the stick and the thumb at the bottom… and hit straight and with power” she said as she broke the rack, the balls colliding with each other, some of them scattering to the pockets in the corners of the table. “Now your turn”

Regina bent down on the table, providing Emma with a view she would not forget anytime soon.

“Like this? It feels awkward”

“No… here” the blonde cleared her throat and moved behind Regina. “Ok, so your fingers go like this. Perfect. Your feet a bit more apart than your shoulders” Regina did as she was told and Emma nodded. As she spoke, her breath was hot on the brunette’s ear, making her melt to the touch in her lower back. “Relax your hip a little” 

“Is this ok?” Regina whispered, aware that she was barely paying attention to what she was doing.

Emma nodded, a strand of blonde hair caressing Regina’s neck.

“Now, with the other hand hold the back of the stick, just above your hip… and then move forward”

They moved at the same time, the stick hitting the cue ball with enough force to send the eight ball to the pocket.

“That was a great start” Emma smiled and they looked at each other, their lips inches apart.

“Yeah?” Regina said in a low voice, her eyes darting to Emma’s mouth. Was she…? Could it be that she wanted Emma to kiss her…?

_ No, it can’t be. _

“Uh, yeah! That was great” the blonde jumped back, walking away. “So why don’t you rack up the balls and we’ll start over? I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick”

“Oh. Okay” Regina nodded, still holding her cue stick.

“Right. I will be back”

The blonde practically ran to the sink, pouring water on her face. She was enjoying a moment of peace, to calm down and look at what had just happened in an objective light.

Except…

“Wow, dude! What the hell was that? You and Regina were practically doing it on the pool table”

“Ruby! I can’t do this” the blonde whined, her head hitting the wall.

“Honey, we just painted that, use this wall instead”

“I’m serious!”

“So am I!”

“I want to ask her out. I want to kiss her. I want to  _ date _ her. But I’m terrified that she will say no. Or that she will settle because things didn’t work out with Forest Gollum”

“Emma, listen to me” Ruby forced her to turn around and their eyes met. “She never  _ ever _ looked at him the way she looks at you. Just imagine some random fairy tells you this dude is your soulmate. Of course you’d want to believe it, but if she left him, it must mean he wasn’t right. Maybe he was, many years ago. But not now. Because you’re the one”

“I don’t know”

“Just say the words. Just throw them out there. Right here, in this bathroom. Say it out loud so you see it’s not that scary” Ruby pleaded, taking her friend’s hands.

Emma sighed and looked down.

“I… have feelings for you. And I want to take you out on a date. If you want”

Ruby squealed.

“See? That wasn’t so ha… Oh, no”

“What, Ruby?” Emma turned around and her heart sank.

Regina, looking at her from the door.

“Gina…”

“Don’t bother, Miss Swan”, she said, and turned around.

“Shit, Emma, go, now” Ruby pushed her out. “Come on, I’ll keep your keys and your coat here, just go”

The blonde finally snapped and ran outside, looking around the street for the other woman.

“Regina!” she shouted, sprinting after her. After a minute, she was within earshot of the brunette. “Regina, wait. Dear God, how can you walk so fast in those heels?”

“Leave me alone, Emma”

“It’s not what it seems” she reached out, pulling Regina by the arm, a silent request to stop and listen.

“If your mother wants to play matchmaker for you and Miss Lucas do not ever,  _ ever _ involve me in this again. I was sitting there like an idiot, while all you were waiting for was an opportunity to ask her out. Well, fine!”

“I did not want to ask Ruby out!”

“I heard you in the bathroom”

“I was practising”

“I am not an idiot, Miss Swan, stop pretending I’ll fall for that…”

“I wanted to ask  _ you _ out! I’ve been meaning to do it for weeks now. But I was scared that you would say no or you would push me away” Emma took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She spoke, her eyes on the ground. “And above all of that, I didn’t do it because…”

“Because of what?”

“Hood” Emma looked up, looking like someone had punched her in the face.

“What about him?”

“No. I mean… he’s right behind you”

“Oh…” the brunette turned around.

The man waved awkwardly, moving closer.

“Regina… I was hoping we could talk”

“Now is not a good time, Robin.”

“Why not?”

“She doesn’t have to give you a reason. She said she doesn’t wanna talk so beat it, forest hobo”

Emma had forgotten that after a few beers she was prone to starting fights.

“What did you just call me?” he stepped forward and Regina held him by the arm.

“Stop, both of you”

“Let go of me” he pushed her hand away. Regina stumbled, looking shocked at the strength he had used.

“Hey, don’t you dare touch her” Emma pounced, pushing him. He pushed back, his hand already in a fist. Except the blonde was faster.

“My nose!”

“Emma!” Regina gasped, looking between both of them.

“Regina, do something” the man whined, a hand covering his bloody nose.

“Just go home, Robin”

“But…”

“There is nothing to talk about” before he had a chance to reply, the brunette turned around to where Emma was standing.

She was gone.

The light of the full moon was all Emma needed, sitting at one of the benches by the pier. Her knuckles were throbbing; she felt bad for what she had done, if only because Regina cared about the man.

She should go and apologize.

“There you are” a voice said behind the blonde. Emma didn’t look back.

“I’m sorry”

“What for?”

“Hitting him like that. I shouldn’t have done it”

“To be fair, I’ve wanted to hit Hook like that a couple of times myself”

“What for?”

“For being with you… it made me… jealous”

“Regina, you don’t have to pretend you feel anything for me out of pity. I’m a big girl and I can handle rejection”

“Why won’t you listen to me?” Regina huffed. Emma stood up to face her.

“Because Hood is supposed to be your soulmate and I saw you walking around with him and his son, playing the big happy family. And I don’t want to be the rebound or the one you settle for. I want you to want  _ me _ ”

“He is not my soulmate. He was never right. I wanted him to be for a while… only because I thought you would never want me. I’m not going to spend my life with someone just because fairy dust tells me to. It’s not how I want to live. And he is not the one I want”

Emma looked down, a silent tear running down her cheek.

“You don’t believe me, do you? You idiot”

When she was turning to leave, Emma spoke.

“Regina. Wait. Please” the blonde walked towards her. Regina stopped and turned around, sighing. “Knock, knock”

“You have got to be kidding me, Emma”

“Come on. Please?”

“Who’s there?” Regina gave in, rolling her eyes.

“Emma”

“Emma who?”

“Emma Swan picking up Regina Mills for a date on Saturday” the blonde said, reaching for Regina’s hands and pulling her close.

“I cannot believe you just asked me out using a knock knock joke”

“So… is that a yes?”

“As long as you don’t juggle some knives at the actual date, you clown”

“No, I was thinking of a mime act for that one. Juggling is definitely a third date kind of thing”

“You idiot”

“I can walk through a tightrope to pick you up if you want…”

“Shut up and kiss me, Emma”

And for once, she did as she was told.

  
*  
  


Next time Snow came in without knocking, she found Regina cuddling Emma. 

There was definitely nudity involved.

“I really gotta get my own place” Emma mumbled.

“Just move in with us” Regina said against her shoulder and the blonde giggled.

“I’ll pack today”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to WikiHow for teaching me the words for the pool stick thing you use to hit the balls. Thanks to Gilmore Girls for the inspiration (writing as fast as I can)
> 
> And thanks to you, for reading! Kudos and/or NICE comments are not mandatory but greatly appreciated.
> 
> :)


End file.
